Well, an-other year comes to an end and recently I started to review all of what happened to me. I started to think about what I have done well and what went bad, what I did not do at all (although I wanted to do it), what I plan to do soon, what the status quo is and what I would need to do and what I have to let go of to be closer to my true nature. To be closer to who I really am. So this year I don’t want any resolutions or plans, but a forceful commitment to my-self, a serious deal I sign now and for good. A real contract which is valid as long as I am blessed to breath, because I owe it to my-self, I owe it to the universe.
1. I am committed to spread unconditional love
Since I go through a personal, spiritual and professional transformation, I feel the difference between love and all the other sensations with every tiny part of my body, my soul and my mind. It is so intense like never before. Sometimes I have to stop in the middle of the street because I truly feel love. Yes, love means opening up and being vulnerable. Love means showing your naked soul. But I risk it because love feels good. That is why I am committed to spread love everywhere I can. I will give love to my family, to my friends, to my colleagues, to strangers, to the nature, to myself. I am giving love without any expectations to receive it back. I am giving love, because I choose to.
2. I am committed to be grateful
I am grateful for every good experience I have. I am grateful to my friends, family and everyone who supports me at his/her best. Because nobody owes me anything! Unfortunately, I often forget about it. They support me and love me, because they want to. So I am grateful, that they find time for me, that they find time to listen to me, that they take me for who I am, that they are there. I will let those people know, that I cherish it so much. I am also endless grateful for every less good experience too. I am grateful to all those men and women, who show me who I can be sometimes (but don’t want to be), who show me where my comfort zone ends. I am grateful for them spending their energy to be angry, to be negative, just to remind me who I am not. Those negative experiences are my greatest teachers. I am grateful for them.
3. I am committed to be aware of my feelings
I am aware that I can be angry sometimes. I am aware that I can be rude, touchy, moody, unfriendly, sensitive, fragile, needy, demanding. I am aware that I feel lonely sometimes, that I feel shy, that I feel underestimated, that I feel sad, that I feel unworthy or not pretty. I am aware that I feel love, that I trust people, that I try to see the good where I can, even if it is very difficult at times. I am aware that I can hurt someone. I am aware that I feel insecure. I am aware that I have fears. I am aware of my body sensations. I want all of this awareness to grow, I want this awareness to expand. I am committed to make it happen, to get to know myself better. To reveal new awesome sides of myself.
4. I am committed to live the best version of myself
I always feel good, when I am helpful, friendly, happy, loving, creative, funny, understanding, action-taking. I feel great, when I take care of my body by doing sports and eating healthy. I didn’t always follow it the last year and I know it is almost impossible to give 100% all the time, but I am committed to give 100% to try to be that way. I am committed to listen to my own self, to be sensitive to my own self, especially when I am not my-awesome-self anymore.
5. I am committed to grow and learn
There is so much to learn from everyone I meet. And I will learn, I will grow from those learnings. When I feel, like I reached my goal, either mentally or physically, I will remind myself, that there is always space to grow and learn. There is always space to improve.
6. I am committed to follow my passions
Most of the time I did what I “had to do”. Going to high school, studying something (a real profession, they say) right after – in order to have a degree and be respectable in the society, working for a respectable company. I can not lie to myself anymore. I announce to myself, that I am an artist and I need to share my creativity with the world. I announce to myself, that I want to write about my spiritual journey, that I want to express myself in music and poetry, that I want to support others (especially women) to do whatever their passion is. I announce it and I stand up for myself. I am my own critical audience but also my own faithful fan.
7. I am committed to let other people be them-selves
I can’t control others not to judge me, but I can control myself not to judge others. Not trying to change them or questioning their behavior, their opinions, their thoughts, their looks, their passions, their plans or actions. If I will judge other people in the future, that means I have a long way to go yet.
8. I am committed to be kind to myself
My coach identified my greatest issue: I am not my own best friend. I oftentimes am rude to myself, I call myself names, I judge myself, I am never satisfied with myself. So that is what I am committed to: I want to be loving, caring and kind to my own self just as I would be to someone I love. Truly and unconditionally. I am enough.
9. I am committed to observe my feelings
I don’t want to make decisions impulsively anymore. I want my Ego to step back and I want my true self to observe my thoughts, my sensations and my feelings. I did things – I’d hopefully never do again, I said offending things (even if I kinda was aware of the fact that my words can hurt) – I’d hopefully never say again. I acted out of my own insecurities and fears. I know, that they won’t disappear over night, but I want to breath before doing or saying anything, that I could regret or that could hurt someone’s feelings. Especially when it comes to my closest people.
10. I am committed not to support negativity
If someone wants to live in negativity and drama, even my closest people, that doesn’t mean that I have to share their drama too. Yes I will be there to listen and I will be there to hold their hand. But I often worry so much, I live the pain of other people and it kills a lot of my energy. When negativity or unpleasant situations will come into my life and I have to live my own drama – I am committed not to support it too. I know that I don’t have to suffer. I will be aware of that drama and observe it first, before I run and tell everyone how unfair life is, how rude people are to me and pity myself to the moon and back.
P.S.: I love the New Year’s Eve. Like a kid I believe in magic every year. But like an adult I take a sip of my New-Year’s-Eve-Champagne and believe that this year everything will be even better. The last year was so amazing for me, it was so intense and I met people who literally changed my life to the best. I started doing things I was so scared of, I became more active, I became more honest, more open, more vulnerable, more loving, more profound, more caring, more curious, more excited about every tiny event in my life. So my commitments will support me to do my best, to improve more and to find that inner peace I am looking for.
P.S.S.: And I will start to learn another new language (I think it’s gonna be French, I procrastinated it this year), I will take care of my body more, I will dedicate myself to music more, I will work on our amazing Lifestyle Design Convention with my beautiful Team.
P.S.S.S.: I will be open for that unconditional love, I so much believe in, I will be open for new awesome people, I will be open for the unknown and I am looking forward to dive into a new interesting lifetime. I don’t know what will be and for the first time in my life I don’t even wanna know. I want that my own Micro-world becomes a “heaven on earth”.
P.S.S.S.S.: I let go of all the judgement I have about myself and the others. I let go of all the grudges I hold from time to time. I let go of all the beliefs that I know what people think or feel. I let go of all the expectations of the perfect me, the perfect partner or friend. I let go of the imagination that perfection has a defined form itself. I let go of the fact that I am unworthy or not good enough for somebody.
I believe in magic and I believe in my-self.
Much Love & a Happy New Year!