Almost two years ago I made one of the best decisions of my life. I smoked my last cigarette. And then I never did it again.
Years back I couldn’t imagine myself without a cigarette. How can a singer, who writes poetry and has a tendency to drama not smoke the night away, while having a glass of good red wine to Mid Night Jazz? I’s been a part of the image of who I thought I was. I tried to quit twice before. Once I made it about a week and the other time I didn’t smoke almost for a year. I can’t describe how much I suffered. It was a torture and I knew, that eventually I will start smoking again. So I did. And in that moment when I inhaled tobacco I regretted it. My addiction was back, right in this moment. The cigarette tasted disgusting, but I was a smoker again.
I was utterly unhappy being a smoker and my clothes, mouth and hair stinking like an ashtray (Yes, as smoker, we think we’d have a gum and perfume and things are fine, but as a non-smoker I assure every future non-smoker, that this is an illusion. Cigarettes smell horrible. Period).
There’s a question, which has been asked a hundred times, but I’ll repeat it:
“If you could go back to the moment, where you smoked your first cigarette, would you choose again to smoke it?”
It’s a little shoutout to all the Future-Ex-Smokers, who struggle and don’t find the last push to finally quit this shitty habit. I want to share what helped me quitting once and for good and never wanting to smoke even once since then. Even more: it made me a bigger person.
1. Realizing, that you’re having a problem
This is the hardest step, but this realization must come so the mind can start healing. Tobacco is addictive and regular smokers are having a real problem. Speak to your friends and your family, that you seriously want to quit smoking and it might be accompanied by mood swings, anger attacks and back-falls. Ask them not to judge you, because you’re having a problem and you really want to heal. Smoking is like an illness. See it as it is. A very stupid, destructive, addictive and expensive illness, which we consciously choose. Why not choosing not to have this problem anymore?
2. Change your diet
I’ve been vegetarian for many years and during the healing process optimized my diet even more. Eventually I went vegan, but it’s not the point. The point is to consider a much healthier lifestyle. Do it out of self-love and reduce alcohol consumption or having heavy dinner for some time, until you feel stable enough to go out without craving a cigarette. Healthy food choices are a great support, because after a fresh smoothie I just didn’t want to smoke and destroy this amazing, sweet taste with a disgusting cigarette. Feel every bit of the new tastes which will overcome you.
It also could happen that you will crave a lot of food, but partly it happens because we are pre-programmed to it. My digestive system was fine after a week and I gained 2 kilos. I prepared myself to those cravings mentally (#1, #3, #6). Every time I wanted to snack I was asking myself if I’m really hungry or my mind is bulshitting me. Stay conscious and listen to your body. It craves food to substitute the cigarette. The cigarette is controlling everything – do you like this?
3. Free yourself
Next to the realization, that I was having a problem, it has been helpful to feel through one more thing: I am a slave of … a cigarette. What a nonsense but what an (ugly) truth. If I wanted to smoke I would wake up in the night, get dressed and walk kilometers just in order to buy cigarettes. It was very hard to believe that I’m a slave of a damn cigarette. When I finally quit smoking I experienced so much freedom. I was telling myself every day with a big smile on my face “I am finally free”.
4. Look forward to be a non-smoker
If somebody will ask you, if you have a lighter, it’s a pleasure beyond words to answer with a simple “Sorry, I don’t smoke”. Deep within I couldn’t be around smokers at all. Also today I’m avoiding being around smokers as I can’t stand the smell. I’m proud of myself that I quit and now my body completely rejects even thoughts of smoking a cigarette or inhaling anything. When I imagine to smoke, my lungs start to hurt. I remember with disgust how I suffered from dry throat, cough, heavy lungs and breath. And the funny thing is – I did it to my body on purpose. I was abusing it.
5. Stop abusing your body. Start loving it.
What am I without my body? Nothing. With a growing profound love and respect for my own body, I just couldn’t smoke anymore. I couldn’t violent my beloved body. Just imagine what you do to your lungs, your skin, your whole mechanism. Instead of being grateful for our body we are destroying it. Our body gives us everything we have and a cigarette is a reward? Sorry, but smoking is self hatred.
6. Start moving your ass
I signed up for gym and went there regularly, partly for egoistic reasons. Almost nobody smoked there. I told them that I quit smoking and every non-smoker was praising me and made me feel proud of myself. After the first weeks I looked better, was fitter and got to know lots of amazing, athletic people, who supported me.
7. Be prepared for flashbacks
It might happen that even after a long time, when you think you’re finally stable, the lust for a cigarette will be unbearable big. Even after almost two years, I was in a very stressful and emotional situation and craved a cigarette. My body and mind remembered the illusion of a cigarette calming me. I had to collect myself and come back to who I am – a non-smoker. Flashbacks can happen, but it’s important not to be hard on ourselves and not to punish ourselves. Understand, that if you smoke again – you will regret it, I promise. And is it worth it? Don’t listen to smokers who say it’s okay to smoke one. It’s not okay. And unnecessary.
The bottomline is that quitting smoking is super easy. Every smoker is one step from being a non-smoker. This step is called: decision. To be honest, I’d rather have more kilos on my thighs than being a smoker again. The quality of my life raised immensely. I feel free, have more energy and fresh breath. Quitting smoking only has advantages. Every smoker, secretly or openly, wished to be a non-smoker. But it’s a simple choice. I didn’t want a damn cigarette to control my life and I want myself to be the master and not a paper roll with highly addictive and toxic ingredients.
Just feel through all the concept of smoking cigarettes:
destructive, expensive, disgusting taste.
Even if you think, that you can’t quit or it will be hard – believe me, at the end it’s one of the most rewarding and simple moves of your life. Give yourself some love and respect. You are the master.
P.S. If you are in the quitting process, feel free to contact me if you need support.
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