Since I published my blogpost with a sexual innuendo, several people I know and don’t know were writing me. They literally celebrated my courage, what of course makes me much stronger and I am grateful for those people, who support me in my journey. Women were writing me, being extremely thankful, for having the courage to put it out there. Mostly, I had amazing feedback. Mostly, per private messages. After having a lot of great and encouraging feedback, I know I am doing the right thing.
There is also a less charming side. A few men of course misunderstood me and were offering me what on their levels of personal and mental development is appropriate. It made me vulnerable, nervous and insecure. Though, I was aware and prepared that some people might misunderstand me.
Furthermore, a very talented, open-minded and creative guy I got to know lately even told me, that I should be aware, that I might never find a job in a well-known company after my blogposts. Because I open my mouth, as a woman, as a human being, about what is ‘inappropriate’ in our society? Because I said the word “sex”? Oh me, naughty girl…uhhhh yea, grrr.
Exactly here my inner sensor raised an alarm. If you want to open up and to share, especially about topics, which have the tendency to make somebody uncomfortable (for whatever reasons, I don’t want to call somebody small-minded, but rather different-minded), like being intimate with yourself or someone else – then you suddenly become cut off from the ‘real outside world’. Or if you discuss topics like being aware and understand, that only you are responsible for all of your inner and outer misery (coming soon). But you’ll never find a job, dude. Neither will I. Shut your mouth, get married and give birth to kids in order to have a ‘sense of life’ (coming soon too).
Well, if that is the created world I have to live in – then I don’t need that job. I don’t need kids, to blame them afterwards for not having realized my dreams. To tell them stories about would could have been. It is the social norm (I neither want to use the term social nor norm, but it’s how it happened to be called).
If you pick the people individually out of that matrix, then everybody feels blessed and is infinite grateful that I am honest. They are thankful, that they can talk with me openly. They are grateful, that I make myself vulnerable in order to show with my own example, that your inner truth counts more than everything else.
You want to do thousands of things, to impact the world, to make it better but integrity, acting and sharing are foreign words in your word pool. Please, please, can you tell me, where is the sense?
At work and in real life I meet a bunch of older people, who keep telling me all the same: “If I was your age, I would….” or “please, go for your dreams, be yourself” or “if I could turn time back, I would…” or “yes, go put yourself out there, the world needs it”. So what is the point? By their example they just raise another generation of people just like them, who “would, if..”. A whole generation of “I would, if-s”.
That is kinda pushing me forward. A fear to wake up in 30 years and tell to younger people, what I would have done, shared, said, if …
When instead I meet people like our speaker form the IO-Weekend 2016 (former name: LDC2016), I realize, that there are lots of people out there, who live their truth. Who walk the talk. Who serve our beautiful world and universe by having the courage to be sincere. By having the courage to put it out there. By having the courage to say the truth out loud, even if it is inconvenient, if it is inappropriate for the society. They do it from a place of love. From a place of self-love. From a place of self-respect.
The world around them is as beautiful as flawed. There are problems, fears and pain too. But that is okay. They don’t hide it. They don’t seek for perfection. They seek to be at peace with who they are in the world. Because they stay committed and they stay faithful to their truth. I make a decision to give myself as a gift to this world too.
The biggest and the most expensive gift we can make to this world, to our friends, our family, our nature, our surrounding and especially to ourselves is – living the most well-adjusted, counterbalanced, authentic and honest version of ourselves.
Love you.
P.S.If you like my blog, want to give me feedback or just to say “hi”, please leave a comment.
2 comments. Leave new
Olga, I really really appreciate your Blog. I adore the way your write and the way you see this world. Awesome ??
Vadim, and I appreciate your words so much. They keep me moving.
Love to you <3