F*ck it. Make Your Own Decisions.

It’s been a while since the last time I sat down to write an article, even if I have so many things to share like never before. In the last few months all I had to deal with was the art of decision-making at its finest.

To my opinion life is nothing, but a constant  decision-making-process. We make long-term decisions, but also short-term decisions, which determine the outcome of every situation. Every second, every moment we make decisions:

What will I say?

What will I think?

How will I behave?

How will I respond?

How will I act?

Where am I going now / tomorrow / in 10 years?

How do I want my day/week/month to look like?

How do I want to feel? What do I need to do to make myself happy?

Who am I vs. who do I want to be?

Do I like myself in this scenario?

… and so on.

It may seem to many people, that their thoughts or words are out of the zone of their control, but my own practice (and practice many, many other people) clearly shows, that we have the full responsibility for our thoughts, actions and words – and logically -. for the results we have in life. If we realize this responsibility, life becomes clearer and also pretty much easier. Though, it’s a practice like sports. So has been the decision-making a big and quite new practice for me.

Earlier in life, I didn’t even realize, that other people totally influenced my decisions. As you can imagine, they weren’t always optimal for me. I suffered. I don’t blame them as back then I didn’t realize my own power and I subconsciously I gave the power over my life to others. I didn’t believe that I’m the one who knows better what is good for me, be it a health decision, a life decision, a faculty or a job decision or something else. I asked everyone around, before I even considered to listen to my inner voice and to trust my own gut. But nobody ever has taught me to make decisions. (I won’t start to complain about the government and society, who clearly aims to make decisions for us before we can even realize it. Unfortunately, so many of us never notice it and live a life based on “circumstances”.)

The biggest problem is that people only can judge by their own experience and most of the people are led by their “bad” experience. Only a few people will support some insane ideas without judging. Most of the people had some bad experience, which they are happy to share. This certainly will influence our decisions and the fear of failure will only grow stronger.

So for example if we have a job offer but aren’t quite sure, we will ask around and many people would say: “if they pay well, go for it. The job situation is horrible, better something than nothing. Go for it and then look for something better.” Few would suggest instead: “Dive with head into what you love the most and don’t underestimate yourself. Don’t lose time with working for somebody else’s dream if you don’t believe in it and have hundred dreams of your own. You are skilled, strong and smart enough to do it.”

Or if we want to end a toxic relationship, we would seek advise and hear: “Well, its so hard to find somebody worthy” or “stay where you are, there’s no perfect relationship anyway. It’s hard to be alone”. I agree, that it’s hard and there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. But it’s better to be alone but grow, feel worthy, to use the alone-time to optimize ourselves and to live an adventurous life, than to be with somebody, who makes us degrade as a person day by day. We start to drown in self-pity, complaints, dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

We always feel, when it’s time to move on, but don’t trust ourselves to make a step forward. It’s the harder road to follow.

Or if we want to change our diet, our habits, our country or to transform our bodies, people will always find a contra, ridicule us, “subconsciously” even discourage us, without understanding the power of word and they will find arguments based on their experience, or ask the questions, which will make us feel low.

Why don’t we trust ourselves, even if we ALWAYS, always know what’s right for us? Who else can feel through us? Who else lives in our skin? Who else knows what feels good and what doesn’t? A doctor? A friend? A mother?

Nope.

You, yes, only you know what’s good for you. And I know whats good for me. Nobody else.

Somebody else’s experience, be it “positive” or “negative” will always stay somebody else’s experience.

It has nothing to do with you.

What helped me the most in the last months, while making big decisions, were the following steps:

1. Not talking too much about my big plans with people, who I know, will discourage me. Even if those are my closest people. I sticked to authorities and successful humans, who gave me the right feeling, that my decision is right for me and Im doing fine. They know this path. And I’m doing fine, indeed.
2. When a new insane thought, idea or a desire bumped into my mind, I took time to listen to myself. I gave myself the permission to dream big. I meditated, I slept on it, I wrote about it. There is no dream which is too big and the more I trusted my my own dreams, the more real they became and day by day my courage only grows.
3. Not listening to naysayers. Not listening to doubters. Ignoring those people. It’s a hard one, because the ones who discourage consciously or subconsciously make us emotionally weak. Here we need our self-love and self-compassion the most. They made feel you bad? Embrace yourself and give yourself the biggest love and care as you would do with a loved friend or a little child. Cry if you need to, be sad, but don’t forget that the path you decided to take is amazing.  (I dramatically cried a thousand times because of others discouraging me and laughing about my dreams, and then I made myself vegan sweet desserts and felt so much better, mmmmh)
4. Actually making baby steps towards what we really want. I made the decision to make decisions by myself. I made a commitment that I listen to myself first and then, maybe, ask somebody I admire for their opinion. I only ask people for an opinion, who actually are kind of experts in this area. Once the decision is made, nobody can discourage me and all what others say, doesn’t really matter.
5. Staying positive, embracing fears, embracing failures, embracing everything what comes on the way. Everything is there to teach me, to make me stronger and wiser. The universe will take care of us, once we trust it. The universe will take care of us, once we start to believe in ourselves and our infinite greatness.

Taking the responsibility for our decisions is obviously not easy. The one main point it so finally realize how important and powerful each one of us is and that we indeed have the power to draw our lives however we like. It’s all about the right decisions.

Let’s make a decision to be the best, kindest humans we can be and to co-create heaven on earth. Are you with me?

Love,
Olga

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